French Fries
by Soffy-blu
Summary: "OPEN THE FUCKING DOOR!" Lucy was screaming, fists pounding on the metal as if she would break through it without any problems. {Rated M for referencing some sexual stuff} [One-Shot]


**A/N: How shitty is this you ask? To quote Natsu Dragneel "Shit."** Ahhh **get ready for the horrible writing. It went downhill Okay~!**

 **Prompt: It's 2am and I'm drunk and I need some salt for my fries and I know you're awake so OPEN THE FUCKING DOOR.**

 **Got it from: . Check Soul-of-glass.**

 **~Amber  
**

* * *

Waking up Natsu trudged to the door at the sound of heavy knocks. Long fingers curled to rub his eyes clear of the drowsiness so he could see better. He ran his fingers through his pink locks about to open the door when-

"OPEN THE FUCKING DOOR!" Lucy was screaming, fists pounding on the metal as if she would break through it without any problems. He did as requested and opened the door to see a girl standing with a grin on her face.

She was thin, pale and her hair was fucking everywhere. Flying in every different direction from the humid air and a few strands sticking to her face. The aftermath of sprinting across town to his house was a mess. Sweat glistened on her forehead in reaction with the moonlight and her chest was heaving rapidly. Her torso clad in a thin blue tank top that left little to the eye and her hips covered in what seemed to be a black mini skirt.

She was cute, no doubt. But he was still puzzled as to why she was at his house. His head was starting to pound and he was not in the mood for this. He had things to do. Mentally swearing that if Gray put some random girl up to this he'd beat his ass he rolled his eyes at the thought.

.

"Who...are you?" The mumble felt more like a His mouth felt dry and he was confused to the point of a headache. He didn't have time for this, it was 2 a.m. and if this was another one of his damn fangirls he was going to scream.

"Lucy, duh, now gimme the salt for my fries bitch!" Her words were slurring and she looked like she was going to topple over.

"Well, Lucy, you're drunk; go home." His fingers twitched before he let out a sigh and attempted to close the door.

She waltzed into the small apartment and sat on the couch. He let out yet another sigh but closed the door. "What the hell are you doing?" He asked, lips curving into a grimace at the girl who was now squishing her cheeks together and face planting his couch with her ass in the air.

"Squish squish goes the fish!" Lucy was chanting it repetitively as she rubbed her face further into the cushion. His eyes darted to the girl and widened as his eyes caught a bit of her purple panties.

"OKay, yeah yeah, squish squish I have to go pee. Don't steal, break or touch anything, got it?" The mutter that fell from his lips fumbled clumsily.

"Okay~ Squish squish."

He made his way down the all too familiar hall before walking into the bathroom. Obviously, he had to fucking pee, because it was 2 a.m. and some random drunk girl was saying 'squish squish' with her ass in the air in his apartment. Why? He didn't know.

Pulling up the zipper on his pants he reached for the soap and began to wash his hands.

"Hey pinky~ I FOUND YOUR CONDOM STASH~!" Hearing the girls giggles and shouts he ran into the room. His feet simply could not move any quicker. His pants were still halfway undone, leaving the band of his boxers to play hide and seek with her eyes.

" .hell." His eyes widened and he took a step back. Fingers anxiously moving to button his pants.

He gawked. She was rolling around on his floor with a cherry flavored condom in her mouth giggling and purring like a cat. Her bangs straying out of their place for only a second before she squealed.

He was on the ground. Underneath an oh-so-seductive girl that was determined to put use to those condoms. Her nimble fingers trailed down his body, eliciting a groan.

Purring she giggled and squished his cheeks together. He was once again in shock. How the hell did she go from making him groan to _this_?

"Fishy squish squish. Where's my salt for my french fries?" Her voice went from warm in lust to cold in anger. Big brown eyes stared into his and he took a deep breath wincing when he simply stated, "You don't have any fries."

 _All hell broke loose._

"What do you _MEAN_ i don't have any french fries?"

"You don't have any fries?"

"ARE YOU _TELLING_ ME I RAN ALL THE WAY ACROSS TOWN TO SEE MY LOVER AND HE DOESN'T HAVE FRENCH FRIES FOR ME?!"

"Lucy. I'm not your lover, I don't even know who you are."

She huffed and a wicked grin was displayed across her face. Darting across the room her blonde curls bounced in sequence. She pounced on him and this time he was against a wall.

"Luce what are you-"

"If you aren't my lover I'm making you my lover."

"Shit."

He was sure he was dead. There was a girl, on top of him and he couldn't pry her off. She fell asleep not long ago but damn her for being so weird. Her thin fingers were curled, holding on to his shirt for dear life.

He took a second to take in the way she looked; _cute._ Where as before she was overtaken by alcohol and determined to rip his clothes off she was now cute. Her hair was a mess, a light flush still on her cheeks and a small snore at random.

She mumbled something about french fries before yawning and repositioning herself so that she was face-planting his chest. Then it hit him again; Girl. Miniskirt. Drunk. On top of him. She was still cute and he'd bet she was a real sweetheart when she wasn't drunk out of her mind.

But then...she woke up and if he thought Erza was satan then this girl must be whoever scares satan shitless.

She was swinging and screaming and asking why there was a condom on the floor. As much as he was trying to explain to her that she put it in her mouth and said "squish squish." she wouldn't believe him.

"You better have not got me pregnant!"

Annnd she was throwing things at him again, this time, it was a pillow and not a bunch of condoms, though. He laughed before annoyance overcame him. She was the one that started banging on his door at 2 a.m. and then tried to rip his clothes off! _With her teeth_ , he might add.

"I _told_ you that we didn't do anything!" He tossed the pillow back in her face, eyes widening when he saw the death glare she gave him. He was at least two hundred percent sure she was going to kill him.

"Like I'm gonna believe that one, what's your name anyways?!" This time, she was swinging her leg in the air in an attempt to send him flying across the room. Catching her foot he tipped her over on the couch and sat down.

"Lucy, I told you we didn't do anything and I meant it. You came to my house and started beating on my door about salt and french fries, fell asleep on top of me and now we're here."

Instead of screaming at him her eyes widened and she looked at the floor.

"Shit. I knew I shouldn't have let Cana take me out last night. I'm going to fucking kill her."

"Can I make an assumption?"

"Go ahead I'm sure you assume plenty of things already."

"Ah, you were drunk and I'm hot so it's understandable"

"Pervert."

"Says the girl that tried to rip my clothes off with her teeth and sucked on a cherry condom."

"You're mean."

"Nah...but you owe me."

"Okay,fine. What do you want?"

"A date, just one, I'll even buy you french fries."

"Fine~!"


End file.
